The questions I most often get asked about my book

1.       Why did you choose the pen name Loxton Berg?

I first came up with the pseudonym Loxton Berg way back around 2003 or 2004 when I was very much living a double-life. I was working as the media manager for the Queensland Rugby League and I started using Loxton Berg as my MySpace name because I wanted to anonymously share music and influences and viewpoints that could have potentially clashed with my career. All of a sudden I started having random people add me on MySpace and sending messages like “You have the coolest name”. The response made me decide that if I ever wrote a book, that’d be my pen name. It morphed into an alter ego and when I was out partying and burning the candle at both ends, ‘Loxton’ was what my mates would jokingly call me to describe the less-inhibited side of my personality. Phonetically, the name Loxton is a combination of a few influences, like Robin of Loxley (Robin Hood), which was one story I was enraptured with as a kid. I love those old-school English legends and think there’s something amazing about how they not only endure, but grow. A good friend of mine lived near Buxton Street at Hendra, there’s my Saxon background, and I was aware Loxley and Loxton were names of towns from counties in England where my mother had friends and family. It’s a combination of all those things. I’m a word nerd. Writing under a pen name allowed me to disconnect from the story rather than carry it as a weight on my shoulders…almost like it was a story that happened to someone else. Writing under a pen name means it won’t be the first thing job recruiters find when they search for my name. It’ll also hopefully stop me from getting sued.

2.       Why the book title Poolhall Jail Library?

It’s derived directly from a passage in the classic travel novel On The Road by Jack Kerouac. Unlike other wistful travelers, I didn’t read that book until pretty late in my backpacking days, so I don’t consider it my bible, but I found one line resonated heavily. It was “In the west (Dean Moriarty) had spent a third of his time in the poolhall, a third in jail, and a third in the public library”. The idea that you learn a third of life’s lessons through unstructured adventure and thinking on your feet (Poolhall), a third through facing your demons and experiencing purgatory (Jail), and a third through reading widely and educating yourself (Library) was a notion that struck a chord.

3.       Who is Karen?

I’ve tried to make this as clear as I can without dumbing down the mystique level, but it still has confused a few people. Karen is my Mum. Not my sister or a different side to my personality or anything like that. All the text in italics in the book is written from the perspective of my mother. I’m a bit of a fan of connotation rather than denotation in art, and I’m probably someone who enjoys obtuse angles and narratives, so I left a certain amount of joining the dots to the reader. I’m currently doing revised edits to the book and there will be one sentence inserted in the second chapter that makes it crystal clear.

4.       Who is X character in real life?

As far as the names of the real people depicted in the book, I’ll never be stating those publicly. Sure, some people are going to have a pretty good idea of who is who, but some names need to be covered up because it stops them from being incriminated, and other names are switched because I couldn’t be arsed speaking their real names when they deserve no glory at all. I wanted this book to work just as well as a piece of literature as it does as a piece of raw non-fiction, so identifying real-life characters is not my desire.

5.       How did your wife feel reading this book?

You’d be fair to say I was worried how my wife would take this book. Poolhall Jail Library is very open and brutally honest.  I list a lot of my own faults and failures, and there are a bunch of other women mentioned at different times, most in storylines that end disastrously. The entire contents of the book exist in a timeline before I met my wife. To my surprise, she laughed at most of the parts I thought she’d be angered by or jealous of. Her major concern from the book was the treatment of children by other people in the storyline…I think she shed a few tears in that respect. For her to have no concern for her own ego and be so supportive of this book is a wonderful and truthful reflection of who she is as a person.

6.       Do you admit to being gay in one section?

One of the first four people who read the draft was convinced I “came out” in one part of the book. I have no doubt others probably took a certain chapter this way as well, but it’s not how it was originally intended. All throughout the book I challenge the reader to make their mind up about the truth, interpreting it through their own prism of beliefs and the subjective recounts of mother and son. That particular chapter was supposed to represent how clueless my mother was about my life at that point. She thought I was turning gay, when in reality I’d just gone through a protracted break-up with my girlfriend and was doing other things she should have been more concerned about. But, you know, I’ve got relatives, good friends, close work colleagues, gym buddies, former teammates etc who are all gay, and if the story is perceived that way, it’s okay. My wife thought I was gay when we were friends before I started dating. She’s not the first in that regard. I think it’s a misinterpretation you get used to when you are someone who is creative and communicative. Maybe that interpretation will make the book more relevant to somebody struggling with their sexuality and acceptance, so that’s fine.

7.       Did you find parts of the book hard to write and relive?

I’ve read the book more than a dozen times now and there are still parts I have to skim read, because it feels like a punch straight to my chest if I contemplate them too long. I find myself driving and reliving some chapters and sighing out loud, thinking “F**k I really shouldn’t have told people that”. But it is what it is. There is one chapter where there is a showdown between my mother, my sister, my fiancée (at the time) and me. I knew when I first sat down to write the book that it would be the most confronting climax in the book, because it was hugely confronting in real life too. At the time it happened, it was by far the hardest moment I’ve ever had to face, surrounded by the three people I cared about the most in the world at that point. I wanted to capture that intense hour of allegations, revelations and heartbreak in all it’s gory truth. So, as a writer, I mulled it over a lot, made a heap of phone calls to my sister, avoided it for a time, then forced myself to scribble it out verbatim. Once that chapter was out the way, the remainder of the book was written in less than a fortnight. There are times now that I catch myself speaking about the book like it is a complete work of fiction – and not something that happened in reality – and that’s probably because I feel like a different person with a different outlook now. I can’t be grateful enough for that.

8.       Who do you hope reads the book?

This is one of the best questions I’ve been asked, possibly because I never thought as deeply about it as I should have, and possibly because the question can be taken multiple ways. I guess the kind of person I really want to read this is someone who is feeling isolated, or questioning reality, or wondering if things will ever improve. After doing a few interviews I think the best way to put this is “I want this book to become someone’s best friend in their time of need”. I don’t have a singular, specific person who I want to read this. It’s not a cry for help to one person. It’s not an all-out assault on one person. It’s not a plea for forgiveness to anybody. I don’t classify the book as a ‘self-help’ book. But in the same way that I stumbled over certain books in my early and mid-20s when I thought nobody else perceived the world in certain ways, I want the book to provide company and comfort to as many people as it can.

9.       What do you want readers to take away from the book?

Don’t become the people that you hated growing up. Don’t repeat their mistakes or use them as excuses. Inflicting pain on those you love will only bring pain to your own life and deny you the Utopian dream you’ve carried since childhood. Never give up. Life only ever goes in one direction and that is forward. Tenacity and defiance are your two greatest assets. Be comfortable being in vulnerable positions because that is when you will learn the greater human population is much kinder and more caring than those who have hurt you in the past. Travel often and with an open mind.

10.   What happens to Lucy?/Will there be a sequel?

Sitting in the clouds are another 4-6 ideas for further books. One of those will have a fair bit of Lucy in it for those who loved that element of the storyline. There are probably two or three sequels to Poolhall Jail Library that can be written without sucking the well dry. The cool and exciting aspect for me is that I know all those other books will be much lighter and breezier to read and write, because they would exist in a time when my life was one giant, exciting adventure. But, as tough as it was to summarise and to digest, I always thought Poolhall Jail Library deserved to be the first book, so it could set the backdrop. I also have a few books about certain moments and individuals in sport, rock music and history that I’d love to tackle. It all depends how this first book continues to be received. You don’t want to keep telling stories if it doesn’t resonate with anybody.

Poolhall Jail Library by Loxton Berg is available in both paperback and downloadable eBook (read right now) formats at www.loxtonberg.com/shop

SYNOPSIS

Maniacal, darkly humorous and shocking; Poolhall - Jail - Library is a turbulent ride.

A captivating true-life story told through the eyes of mother and son, lifting the lid on what really happens in the suburbs.  

Intertwining narratives contrast a murky web of family secrets against a spirited young adventurer determined to emerge from the shadows of childhood

This book will inspire you to pack a suitcase, set a charter for new horizons, and leave the haters and shackles of the past behind.

With a title derived from Jack Kerouac's seminal novel 'On The Road', this tale rests heavily on the theme that a third of life's lessons are learnt through unstructured play, a third through purgatory, and a third through choosing to educate ourselves.

This is not Neighbours.

This is not Home and Away.

This is real Australia, peeking out from behind the curtains of lounge rooms across the country.